


I'll keep giving loving until the day he pushes me away

by Ibenholt



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Blindfolds, Introspection, M/M, Mental Anguish, Murder, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 22:10:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20749559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ibenholt/pseuds/Ibenholt
Summary: Jim and Harvey go to get that afternoon-drink at the end of season 3.





	I'll keep giving loving until the day he pushes me away

“Do you mind?”

“When you find an ass this good, you hold onto it! Didn’t your mama ever teach you anythin’ important?”

Harvey snickered into Jim's neck and pushed a leg between his thighs. As promised, they’d gotten a drink at their usual haunt. Now they were in the bathroom, benefitting from the fact that it was noon, and therefore shockingly clean. Jim swore he could still smell lemon pledge.

Harvey was busy trying to get them both out of their pants while trying not to giggle at the sound of two other people 4 stalls down grunting and giving their door a run for its money.

It was kinda funny. And not at all Jim’s scene. He was starting to guess it wasn’t Harvey’s either, because he stopped rubbing him with his leg and instead laughed very softly into Jim’s shoulder.

They came back to work and did what they had to while Jim flinched slightly every time he noticed a bruise on Harvey or heard him grunt in pain as he reached for a new paper. Finally, he gave one last pained groan as he rose and put his hat on,

“C’mon, buddy," Harvey said. "It’s time for proper payback.”

Jim raised his eyebrows at him

“You didn’t think that lil’ rendezvous was gonna be enough for me, didja?”

“Is anything ever enough for you?” Jim asked.

“We’ll find out, won’t we? And be careful with the car door this time.”

“Am I ever gonna live that down?”

“We’ll find out.”

Harvey’s apartment was the kind of place that was so run down that Jim suspected a cleaning crew of six wouldn’t be able to make it look more than kinda ok. But he liked the smells there. He may have called Harv slovenly way back when, but the living room had an odor of old tobacco and fresh air. Somehow. The air in Gotham always had a tinge of something else in it, be it sea salt or fresh blood.

Harvey dropped his keys, his hat, and his jacket and headed straight for the bedroom with Jim following.

Harvey got on the bed, which, to Jim's shock was made, and looked expectantly at him.

“So? Strip down at least. I’d love to tear everything offa you, but the joints are arguing.”

“I think I should shower first.” Jim suggested.

“You’re gonna shower after, that much I can promise you.”

Harvey was leaning back on a bunch of pillows and regarding him like a king inspecting a painting. He’d be flattered if he didn’t know that that little light in Harvey’s eyes was smugness and just the slightest bit of entitlement.

And he did owe him something. How did anyone repay their best bud for wrecking his car and throwing him into a train? Twice?

He got undressed slowly, hoping Harvey wouldn’t take it as an invitation to throw dollar bills and hoot. Luckily, no words left Harvey’s lip until Jim was finished.

“And now you come over here.” he said in that annoyingly obvious way, like it was Jim’s first time, and Harvey’s 340th. He got onto his lap, trying to ignore the feather-light touch on his thigh and hip,

“Shoulda worn a nurse costume.”

“Nurses aren’t usually the ones to put people in the hospital, Harv.”

“Remind me to introduce you to my cousin. Meanest right hook in the county.”

Harvey wasn’t taking his eyes off his chest, and Jim wasn’t sure if he should feel uncomfortable, considering the sorry state he knew Harvey’s was in. All bruised and scraped up… 

“Be a good boy and get the lube.”

“Where…?”

“Where do you put your lube?”

To be fair, the drawer on Harvey’s nightstand lacked a knob, so Jim fumbled a little. He fished around between batteries and old packets of gum and retrieved a bottle with strawberries on it.

“Cute," Jim remarked. 

“Don’t act like you don’t recognize it. Half of it was spent on you, ya know. Heh, or in you, rather.”

Jim didn’t know, but he should have guessed.

“And now you turn…”

“Harvey…”

“Just figure you’re a little tired from work and need helps’all… turn around, partner.”

Partner.

At least he hadn’t called him brother.

Jim had no idea what this was. What to call it. What did it even mean?

The hand jobs and blowjobs and the three times of actual penetration were always in the grey areas of desperation, booze and heartache. And Lee taking off and possibly not coming back despite the beautiful words in her letter was certainly more than enough reason for Jim to do something semi-rash.

Harvey tended to back off whenever Jim got involved with someone, and he already had problems looking away whenever a curvy woman made her way into the station, be she just a little plump or big enough to fill out one of Gilzean’s suits better than he ever could.

So what exactly was this?

Offering himself up like this. It felt… weird. But he was grateful he didn’t have to see the damage he’d done to Harvey’s body.

“Your problem is that you can’t unwind, even when exhausted. So… I gotta make ya. Right?” Harvey crooned into his ear.

Jim swallowed, but didn’t argue when something velvety covered his eyes. Blindfolds? Really?

“Wasn’t this me repaying you?”

“Sure is.”

“Thought you threw your back out.”

“Nah, that was you. And it’s your own back you should be worried about, sugar.”

To emphasize his point, he smacked Jim’s ass twice before grabbing hold of one buttock and spreading him.

Jim bit his lip and lowered his chest to the mattress,

“Attaboy," Harvey said. "‘Sides… I took a couple of pain killers. Been eating’em like they’re candy. I tell ya, I’ll be sore as fuck in the morning, but I won’t be alone.”

The first finger was cold with lube, and Jim shuddered,

“No squirming, pretty boy. I’ve seen you take more than that.”

Jim closed his eyes tightly when Harvey added two more. A little rough, but he wasn’t complaining. Besides, Harvey would probably like it if he did.

“Just like that.”

His hips were moving of their own volition. He was rock hard already and made a helpless little noise when Harvey briefly grabbed him and tugged mercilessly slow.

“Fuck…”

“Got you to swear.”

“Harv…”

“Not a swearword, but close. Now…”

He moaned when Harvey’s fingers sped up, “You ready for the real deal?" Harvey continued. "Ask me nice.”

“H-Harv…”

“That’s just my name, Jim.”

“P-please… please.”

“Please what, baby?”

He had to shake it off. Harvey wasn't nearly as big of a mess as he was. He deserved to have Jim make at least a bit of an effort. Even if it made his stomach and mind churn.

“Please fuck me, sir.”

He yelped when Harvey gave him another slap, then was close to whining when the fingers left him,

“Fuck, Jimbo. Didn’t even know how hot that would make me.”

Jim was back to reality for a second, but then Harvey entered him fast and hard and Jim didn’t mind one damn bit. He cried out and clawed at the sheets, meeting Harvey’s thrusts.

He loved this. He loved forgetting everything and let him take control.

It was only at this moment that he’d allow himself to want Harvey to tie him up and stuff him full of toys and wait until he was so desperate that he’d do anything just to have him inside him, and other dirty fucking things Harvey would whisper into his ear when they were patrolling or drinking too much.

He wanted this.

He wanted...no, he needed Harvey, and not just in this way. Not just to tease and bite and fuck him. But to have him in his corner. There was no one he trusted more, no one he had ever felt safer with. 

Maybe it was because Harvey knew what he was about.

Sure, the first few weeks, Jim had thought Harvey was a lazy, jaded SOB who would rather sample the newest burger cart than make a difference.

But a week after that, he’d realized what an absolute hellhole Gotham was, that Harvey was making the best of it, and that no matter what he said, he was a good cop. Despite Fish, despite the ties to all kinds of scum, and even despite that bullet he’d planted into some poor soul’s skull to ensure loyalty, Harvey was still Harvey.

Jim hadn’t been so lucky. After having his straight-laced, rule obeying nature pulled out of him like a rotten tooth, he eventually had to turn to see what was left. And with everyone kept badgering him about this dark side of his, that turn was taking a while. They said he was hiding a murderous psychopath underneath the hair gel and crisp shirt.

Barbara’s shattered mind scared him, not just because the woman he thought he knew was suddenly a murderous Betty Boop, but because he had moments where he wondered if that was gonna happen to him as well one day.

Snap.

There goes your sanity.

He gave a surprised yelp when Harvey flipped him over, and lifted his leg for better access. It was just them in the room, and Jim didn’t understand why, but it made him embarrassed. Like he was on display. But he soon forgot when Harvey got a little rougher, and it got harder to keep quiet or retain any kind of dignity.

He tried to get lost in the sensations again, but his damn train of thoughts re-connected easily and even when he just wanted to be a man getting fucked, he was suddenly back to wondering about Tetch’s virus and those awful voices in his head.

_Killer_

_Killer_

_Killer _

And yeah. It had been a while since he’d been able to sleep without waking up in a cold sweat, wondering _why why why_ he hadn’t shot Mario in the knee or the arm or in the fucking stomach.

Nights where he reached over to check on Lee, and realized he was totally alone and dark thoughts formed saying he deserved it. That he chased everyone away, and it had always been a matter of time before she left him, cold-blooded murderer that he was.

Harvey was the only one who stayed, and the one he still believed when he told him he was a good man. The words rang hollow, sure, but Harvey’s eyes lit up with a weird kind of optimism that kept Jim from saying ‘I’m not’.

Admitting that he’d completely lost a sense of who he was would lead Harvey to try and cheer him up, or maybe brush it off as bullshit and claim that Jim was listening to the bad guys, which no one should do.

So right now, he was wondering if this was more for his benefit than for Harvey’s. Here, he was grounded. He didn’t have to do anything else than beg him to let him come. Didn’t have to do anything else than obey.

Just two bodies moving together in Harvey’s rundown apartment

“Harvey…!” he cried out.

“Music to my ears, Jim.”

“Please, I gotta…!”

Harvey didn’t answer, but grabbed his hips and hauled him up, pressing into him one last time. The hand on his cock did him in.

White light, explosions behind his eyes. He felt himself get lifted slightly, tumbling around until he last track of up and down, and then the harsh light from outside burned him when Harvey undid the blindfold.

“You ok?” Harvey asked.

Jim looked up, about to ask what he meant when he realized he was curled up next to him, face practically buried in his neck. They didn’t do this. They didn’t cuddle. They hugged tightly after surviving hell. Harvey kissed his cheek after he’d survived a kidnapping, and his neck in the dark of the file storage, just to tease.

He sat up, but didn’t even set a foot on the floor before Harvey grabbed onto him,

“No, no, c’mere…”

Harvey swore lowly as he adjusted himself, but he got Jim into the crook of his arm and put his ear lobe between his fingers,

“Sorry, s’just… you’re usually halfway into your pants at this point.”

“Yeah.” Jim mumbled.

“Long day?”

Jim didn’t answer, and Harvey didn’t ask anymore. He kept toying with his ear, and by the time he got to his hair, Jim was long gone, dreaming of nothing.


End file.
